Saga of travelling in a bus

– for the one less travelled (Rules to follow)


It’s so gala to ride your bike whether rain or sunshine, horn on restricted places, peep in the mirror, take a left turn , go zigzag, switch lanes, take a U turn, if you find police waiting to chuck you, double seat mischief’s, park it easy, style your key in public and roam around.

Who knew I would miss all the boisterous events, when I would relocate to another city. Yes, I could have transported my bike here; still I needed to travel by bus and now sharing the twinge? No, the wicked fun of sitting in a bus. The agony of traveling in a bus, who has never ventured into a bus. NEVERRRRR!!

Rushing and pushing, I climbed in a local bus, I was heading to my aunts home. How less I knew about this new city, that I got down at the wrong point. Looking left, looking right, puzzled???? Wait!! Where am I? Damn!! 3 stops ahead of where I had to get down actually. I paid extra for reaching the wrong stop and boarded another to return. Unfortunately, I asked a wrong lady and she told me the wrong stop.

Rule no 1: Always keep a road map, as to where you want to reach. Because there are people who misguide and you may reach a place you have never been.

 I was waiting to meet a friend for long. She gave me her address and I got into a Volvo (Uncluttered AC bus which charges double the rate of NON AC bus.) But never mind, sitting inside makes you feel you are going into a posh expedition. I stood like a statue, unaware of getting victimized by attractive ladies, who wear face covering glares and carry bags from Louis Vuitton. This lady covered my bag by her dupatta(a scarf worn) and within seconds my wallet was stolen. I still dint realize I had lost it. The lady conductor pulled me to sit and cautioned the passengers “beware there are pick pockets.” She announced, thank god, better late than never.

When I sat down, I saw my purse was torn by a blade and my wallet missing. “What was in it “asked my friend? Cards, some important papers, license, and of course cash… “How much?” Rs. 700/-… “When you have a card why did you carry cash?” Arey, ab toh card bhi gaya na? “It’s OK, call up the bank customer care and block your card”.  Blessed, I had some 50 bucks in my pocket. At least, I could reach her place.

Rule no 2: Please take care of your belongings even you have it in your pocket, keep a track of it.

One evening, I pushed and dashed all women and got in. I was wondering lean lady like me could do it. Task accomplished, I got a vacant seat.  I sat as though I hurdled a 100mt dash and jumped off Mount Everest, swam across Thames. Not being so fortunate, some old lady came in and the other ladies in the bus patted my back and approached me to spare the seat for the poor lady. Not once, not twice, but so many times. Even I have to go a long way?

Rule no 3: Whether you are thin or fat, if you look young, you are sure to be asked to vacate for senior citizen. That’s not wrong, unless you occupy senior citizen’s seat. 🙂

Babies cry in the bus, the mixes of people’s body odor, the fragrances, and someone’s malodorous gases, please I can vacate it for anybody. When some lady is with a child, if she asks you to hold her child on your lap… No it’s better to give her the queens place.

 Rule no 4: It does not matter, how old the child is, but his/her mother will carry him/her just to grab a seat.

And if you have seen someone coming towards you, pretend to be unwell or put your head down. No one will disturb a sleeping person.

I was in a transport some time setting off to the local station and there was an old lady adjacent to me, attempting to converse with me in some south Indian dialect. I was attempting to overlook her. As the TC neared me, he requested that purchase the ticket. That old lady pointed towards me. She was pointing her finger to every other person in the bus for a ticket. Pardon me, I just got up and got away. Above all else, I would not take my granny in a transport.

Rule no 5: Please do not feel pity for few old people who point fingers at you to buy their ticket.

Funny people I came across lately, I was listening to Rihanna and was lost while heading towards office. Some guy threw a chit on me, when he got down. It read his phone number. Mind it; I should have given it in the nearest police station or passed it somewhere or advertised on paper stuck on trees.  There are people who sit staring at you or who just want to push you or try to touch you in some or the other way.

Rule no 6: Stay away from boarding a crowded bus. 

This happened as of late, when I was going back home, I didn’t get a seat and I stood all way and was looking outside. The conductor wanted to get friendly and know about my place, school, work place, and city. Does he need to upgrade his database or something? Ok!! Newcomer points of interest. I have even met individuals, who ask your telephone numbers, since they need to showcase about their firm. “Do you venture to every part of a similar course day by day? Goodness, I am a nutritionist, take my telephone number. I lead coordinated workshops each Sunday. ” Call me 🙂

Rule no 7: Do not provide any of your information to anybody or by-heart a wrong number.

For a fare of Rs.24, I paid Rs.100 and was waiting for the conductor to return Rs.76. I signaled him twice to pay me the change in a packed bus. He delayed to pay until my last stop.  Guess, he wanted to put that in his pocket. When I got down from the bus he returned Rs. 75.  Anyways, he did not have one rupee coin. With a sigh!! Wondering, if I was the lady Gajani, would not he earn that extra buck?

 Rule no 8: Always carry change. Never know.

Who spat on you?

My day would have almost been ruined while passing by a bus, when a sot would have spit on me. I luckily missed his shot (pichkkari) else would have ran home? Nah, would have bashed him and created a scene.  My colleagues have reported many a times that they got slugged by some maroon paan. It’s lucky if a bird drops poppies on your head than get painted in red. Yak, how disgusting.

Rule no 9: Avoid passing by a bus, especially near bus stands. Even if you do, please look up.

Language problem, big problem. I can understand Kannada, but the conductors have always spoken to me in Hindi. No matter what happens, they speak few common words NO (gotilla, illa illa.) Don’t know what I look like; when I speak back in Kannada they are amazed (Kannadavra).

 Rule no 10: Please learn some few words of the desired language to avoid quarrels with them.

It’s been long time now, I am staying in this city and decidedly there is an urgent requirement to buy a bike.  I would love to escape the trouble of waiting at the shelter-less bus stops, board a wrong bus, get down at a wrong place, forget the change, spoil my clothes, accidentally fall, get stepped by pointed heels, inhale mixed odors, fight for a ladies seat,  get robbed and finally run behind the bus like the scene from Jab we met.. Rukooooo


Bus ab bus.. I don’t want to be the damsel in distress any more. Time for a pleasure ride….

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