8 Things everybody should know leaves the rest behind

The top considerations that somebody can without much of a stretch overlook could by and large be expressed as

  1. The most effective method to act with everybody – Simple human conduct which a large portion of the folks ignore, carrying his tongue and yapping, hollering it in superfluous situations.
  2. Dress fittingly according to the circumstance – Its a memorial service and you see somebody dressed dazzlingly.
  3. Effective communication – Speak up and talk right!
  4. General Knowledge & Current affairs- This subject is assimilated upon us since school. However numerous neglect to notice one such easy question ?
  5. Kitchen ingredients – On a lighter note, know where all the kitchen ingredients are put away, in times of crisis you can cook something.
  6. Kindly bear in mind – Each one has his own particular share of issues, don’t throw yours to them. Half of the general population won’t hear you , the other half will giggle at you.
  7. Nobody is a scholar in each subject. Try not to scrutinize. Acknowledge on the grounds that somebody attempted.
  8. Never forget, there is somebody more noteworthy above you. BE HUMBLE.

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3 Funny Things That Happen Only In Serials

As a youngster, when I initially started watching one of the daily soaps, I used to ponder, how much time do tele specialists require to spruce up, wear substantial adornments, apply layers of cosmetics and after that rest in the same ensemble, get up the following morning and figure out how to have a striking resemblance. How frequently do they change into another ensemble immediately, when do they eat, supper, utilize washrooms, bathe and stuff, go to class, school. At that point a major voice expressed “That is behind the scenes”… Why might you need to see somebody eating and washing in a serial?.

Cooking was an immense subject of discourse in a whole scene, “Aaj khane me kya banaye? Bhendi to nahi hai aur mummy ji ko wohi pasand hai, Hey Bhagwan…kaun layega sabji”, a gigantic issue!!! The entire house can go crazy. “Tumari pasand ka Gajar ka halwa banaya hai”, Its a national sweet dish you see.

All the more precisely, one of the serials first scene began with strained guardians finding a flawless match for proposition gatherings, dismissals, kundali matching to couples initial talks, shy smiles, roses, gifts,long drives,engagement to wedding ceremonies dragged for a complete year.

Well, funny incidents happen only in TV serials and some are hilarious and here are those

1. Escapism
When you watch a character talking on telephone and all of a sudden she says “baad me baat karti hu”. Seriously?? When you would prefer not to talk why do you need to call or receive one? That’s the priority she is picking.

2. Vamp like makeup
Why are all woman reprobates dressed so irregular and get perceived even from a distance, her character is with an aphorism to wreck an ecstatic family. Dreadful sound impacts at whatever point she shows up on screen. Yes, you more likely have heard the same “Kamolika, Mohini”. The custom-made sari blouse, rainbow hued eye shadows, additional long bindis, dark lipsticks keeping in mind this woman hears every one of the discussions stealthily in the house.

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3. Talking to self
This procedure mends self comprehension, and hunting down internal identity in the meantime asking few inquiries to yourself? Characters in serials, converse with themselves so uproarious that neighbors can hear as well. I once discovered my flat mate conversing with herself and her face was sufficiently freaky to unnerve the hell-fire out of me. I was confounded and asked “Are you distraught, whom are you conversing with ??” Silence wrapped…

It so happened one day, we were sitting unobtrusively in a room, every one was doing his own particular thing, charmed. My fantastic grand mother started a discussion about Gowri. Her folks had come to take her along as her significant other sent her away. Confused?? Who Gowri?? May be some far off relative, murmurs following a moment, she was whining about the fundamental protagonist of a serial who left her home and was gotten back to by her significant other. Statures of involvement!! All burst out chuckling.

Recently, one of the leads from a TV soap visited a women association for Stri Vikas program. Luckily, she was recognized by couple of spectators outside. One of the elderly individuals began hollering “Why do you wear such moderate garments when you look so sober in serial(complete conventional clothing), you are the perfect bahu, the key individual who tackles everybody’s issues, try not to wear such pieces of clothing (evening gown) and hair let down”. The youthful actress was sufficiently unassuming to answer “its a serial look Amma”. Dead air!

On a genuine note, watching “Friends”, I realized, everybody is so mentally caught up in something and no one responds. These buddies meet over and over, are glad, drink, move and are engaging.

If real life is like this soapy affair:)

Image Credits – Google baba

Funny OneLiners

Bangalore has been worst hit by traffic, commuters across the city speeding from east to west, north to south continue honking and finally reach at a signal which takes more than 20 minutes to cross. I am bored, exasperated, tired, drenched sometimes. But at times, its worth giggling, reading these lines stuck on the rear window of vehicles.

Smirking LOL..

Read on

I hate cheat gals

Dil dosti aur hoshiyaari

Kaamabhoomi

Just Wink and I will do the rest

Mom says no racing!!

Please come slow

Mast maja maadu

Lets race and win the trophy from the gal

My girlfriend is here

Tumko Mardaangi ka vaasta

Baby doll hu sone di

Papa kehte hai bada naam karega

God will teach you

I owe u a ride

Aaja meri gaadi me bait ja

Honk loudly

Rider is sleeping

Surf your inner strength than the internet

Mard ko dard nahi hota

Your invited to add more!

Worst fellow travellers with you

How does it feel to travel in solitude, get onto a plane/transport/train and locate some eccentric creatures alongside you grinning repulsively,smiling obnoxiously, talking, whining just to dispose of you. (Smirks)

Snoring like a loud horn

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Now and then a roof fan without a controller is greatly improved than a person who is wheezing like a horn. The sound is so boisterous and feels like there was an alert called for emergency exit.

Pardon me, roaring and roaring, the old man is snoring!!

Nappy time

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Baby has peed, pooed in his nappy and the only place available to change the baby’s diaper is the place by you. Yikes; vacant seat 🙂
You ought to have carried a crate of tissues and enough perfumes…:( while the more youthful children kicking your seat and pulling the pad until you truly take a gander at them indignantly. Grrrrrrr

Can you pass the newspaper ??

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When you purchase a perusing material and you are charmed in it. Abruptly, you get your neighbor peeping onto. That is the manner by which you pass a distrustful grin at him and after that he asks you the supplement.

News chronicles exactly at Rs.3/. Cant you get one?

Hogging like never before

Whether in a train or in a transport, you discover them eating covetously like he has been starving for a considerable length of time, crunching till the last moment of flight, biting gums persistently, tensely sitting tight for the following chai-wala. Where does the rubbish go?

Reply: Out of the window simply hitting you. It’ s like somebody wakes you by sprinkling water all over as if it showered on a speeding train. Check to ensure your nearby neighbor more likely than not washed his hands.

Though travel is fun, adventurous bus and train rides, straining flights i still have stories to start and finish.

 

5 types of people you will always meet.

A few people are among the angels, known for their heavenly talks.

In any case few individuals have such an elite slant, with regards to managing the vital marvels you know they vanish.

Here are some of them:

1. Stingy

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They are known for never spending a solitary penny notwithstanding to buy a solitary plate of idli(celebrated South Indian dish) amid lunch hours. They continue thinking whether to eat or not to eat. While putting in a request, they placidly state “I am not hungry” or “I will eat later. Spare that additional buck. Well, grasped to share plates. They need to purchase a rundown of things, stroll with you to such a variety of shops, take a stab at everything conceivable, ask substitution essentially, search for various hues like they are going to exhaust their entire compensation at one shot. Their bills shout, wallets discuss being poor (Will you stop) me now thing. They will check, gripe, deal, they will search for each and every detail, even which the retailer more likely than not missed. They will begin once more, search for different shops, chart book say “I didn’t discover anything” , Forget it!! Toward the end, purchase a plate of Pani Puri and return home.

2. Boasters

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Liar Liar, pants on fire!! You adore their company just to ensure like you will love to mimic them over and over. The hush shared across when they open their mouth. You have a craving for punching their face left and right. They cherish talking, yapping constant about anything. What is the one thing they have not attempted yet?? Windbag about the new telephone they purchased, its components, its shading, its shape and all the ideal extras, you will practically by-heart the item depiction like a catalog to any other individual. They will depict each and every ounce they saw at the Disney arrive, (veritably a neighborhood reasonable) how they spent the night at the bar, the atmosphere, the apartment, as though they were the only ones who traversed 7 oceans. You know 1 burger costs 1 dollar. Is it ?? Whats a burger.

3. Irresponsible

They say they will be there at whatever point you require, like you are their half brother. Best mates re-united. They flaunt their assets however when you truly require some assistance, they require wake up caution calls, they never react, overlook, put on a show to be outstation. “It would be ideal if you leave a voice message”. They need to deal with everybody around like a major Nanny. You should choose when really you require some reason to not ask them. You call them all the more regularly however you hear different reasons. They should leave a recorded message always “Sad I am inaccessible”. Be that as it may, you said you will be there and get the baggage picked from the station. Hello!! Tire puncture.

4. Sleepy siesta

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They blabber which you fail to get it. They yawn throughout the day, at work, park, walk, gym,shop ,(LOL) railroad station bench?? So drowsy. Think about a place and you discover them sleeping. Weekend getaways are their beds. Their most loved recreational activity in life is resting. What did you do last Saturday-Sunday. Ok! “I was so lazy”. Like God had blended some sleep initiating pills amid their introduction to the world. Their lone zest in life is expanding number of nap hours. Get up at 11:59 AM, have food and only few zzzzzz’s.

5.  Selfie addicts

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Front camera was introduced to snap, snap and snap. You go on a trek in a gathering, while that one individual is posturing for a selfie. You pivot and they are again posturing for another selfie. Day and Night is only a begin, you become more acquainted with their entire Auto Biography in pictures, SELFIE TIME (on the bed, having espresso, at the Gym, riding bicycle, trial room, with pets, attempting new recipe, new serving of mixed greens, new hairdo, new date, down with fever, beating cool hack, eating pani puri, eatery menu, asserting his new BMW, 1000 garments. The exact opposite thing left to posture for is a selfie s(H)itting on a WC. Keep the poop in your organizer not on the announcement.

All things considered, life is a hotshot be it any online networking or simply get together’s. Indeed, even celebrations are turning a yakkity yak. On a little note: Meet increasingly individuals to become more acquainted with new characters, whom you may have missed listening to.

 

Copyright © 2013 · All Rights Reserved

Blunders, I hate Texting!!

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Alarm call for a lazy bug, rooster ringtone wakes you up at 7 AM. Ah! Snooze off, off to sleep again. In a matter of few minutes, it is 8 AM. You know, it is such a hard-won task to leave your cozy mattress (snug as a bug in a rug) alone and sign in to the daily chores.

Hurry up, time check. Clock is ticking!!

There are voices coming up from different rooms, like the one from the ads “Rahul paani chala jayega”.

To do list: get fresh, iron your outfit, have breakfast and Run Lola Run to board a bus at 9 AM.

You don’t get time to notice any of your updates on your phone. Sad isn’t it? When you missed reading all the messages, calls from unknown numbers. When someone asks, “What! don’t you read all the messages in the morning?” Still worst isn’t it?. Wait!! I am not sitting with my cell phone every morning after I wake up.

When the smart phones were first introduced, it was a style statement for everyone to carry one and flaunt the model. Never know you might have to take the con-calls on your phone when you are stuck in a traffic jam, and there could be situations like work from traffic 🙂 Thanks for introducing free calling apps. Lamentably, messenger apps are ruining one’s life. Why do people create official groups on messengers and spread information with reference to work. It is easy and free, agreed that local SMS charges apply and there are these apps, which provide features to send free of cost, unlimited texts with attachments using internet plans. Upset over my past action, I accuse myself. Why did I install such an app which is become a basic part of my life. I wish texting was never introduced.

Mobile phone is just an awesome device for me to listen some good music from my playlist or be it on the Radio. Use the camera to what it’s called mobile photography and post it on via photo sharing apps.

Why would you really bother to check  texts you received before leaving home. Only if you read all of them you would know, Inbox: “Today meeting at 8.30 AM”. Who the hell would have read it so early in the morning, when you are running to complete home tasks? At least not me. 😦 Missed glancing once and I reached late; People throw tantrums “Didn’t you read it. Message was sent in the group.”  What message? “I didn’t see”, or was it an escape to not respond to such short notice.

What if your phone battery was dead due to power cut?

What if you turned off the mobile internet or your WiFi was down?

What if there’s no network and people couldn’t reach you?

Possible right? Yes, of course but who cares. You should have seen it, there is no excuse for it, like someone rang the bell in your brains and a silent whisper quoted “Hello, be early you have a meeting”.

Still others are so fretful…. I agree you wish someone through texts, or ask about their well-being. Just a warm hello, “Hi, How are you?” Come on, who’s online, staring at the phone, reading texts and replying instantly, reacting to every other message on the phone?

What if you didn’t read the message because you were busy in a meeting?

What if you are working in a crucial and confidential project and you are not supposed to carry a smart phone?

What if you have to submit your phone at the security, or keep it safe in a locker?

So many reasons right? And still people expect to question you, “Are you so busy? You don’t even reply to my text”.

There are so many more things to do than messaging and fiddling on the phone. This multi-functional device was designed to stay connected. I repeat stay connected and not glued.

Side effects of messaging.

“What’s up?” Reply “Sky”. She/he replied, new thing I found today.

“Sup sup sup”, he was abbreviating to super, super, super, guess his fingers did not move to complete er,er, er but no eh? It meant, What’s up, what’s up. I don’t have anything to say.

“HB”. If you are wishing someone, do it wholeheartedly. I know hb pencils but it read happy birthday. Sulked!!

“Guni”, went for short code “Good Night”.

“Ga”, I can read musical notes in English “sa re ga ma pa”.. I was awestruck, it is “Good Afternoon”.

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err

Annoyed, troubled, disturbed, irked and sorry but, I never got the QWERTY keypad right nor did I manage to get the swipe. Too many errors caused pain to text and look, almost stopped responding to messages. People complained “I don’t understand your replies. I need to learn French to read what you type.” I would prefer listening to your voice on a call, instead of using inaccurate words in a sentence hard to decode, while traveling with less internet connectivity.

It happens, if two contact numbers saved with same name and Err, wrong information to wrong number. Like something cruel, “What did you send me?” oops wrong window. Then which one is the right window?

your finished
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Just a letter typo and life is smashed. A friend received a text from an acquaintance, who also used the apartment WiFi. “Is your wife workibg?” She was supposed to type “Is your WiFi working”? Great reply posted, “LOL m not married and workibg means?” Further, she received 2 missed calls. Awkward and stumbling, forget it. This could be a trick, she sent to verify whether he was single or dating? and then would meet for a coffee, down in dumps.

“Are you comind today to d party? An alphabet error and the reply was comind??? I would have read it so clear. Like I always do. 🙂

Anyways, is it a crime if you don’t reply? Privacy status hidden, you would be thrown out of the group if you are passive contributor and never to be added again. Some relief. 🙂 To clarify ask the admin, do not ask further questions.

Life is getting faster and faster and people are getting busier and busier than sit staring at the device, smile unpretentiously with dimples reading something.

Texting also is impersonal. Emotional sentiments are expressed through typing, without clues such as tone of voice, facial expressions and body language. Its always better to have a face to face conversation in person. As long as you reply, they know it is for you, else few of them realize, it’s a bad way to reach you. Who knows what the person might be thinking, while replying to your text.  A simple reply, just a “k” and this one “okay :)” with a smiley, which would make a hell lot of difference. Again smileys are making a great deal in SMS; without it some may even think it is raw.

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That’s why talking is always better than messaging, which leaves a clue later, if you discuss some gossip. I have come across such a person, who used to copy messages on a compact disc for proof, like further reading or something. Criminal minds. Unless you use apps to record calls.

People who know you very well will definitely call you. Huh! Talking too much on phone could cause hearing loss. I might have lost few dB of it. And who is all the time texting you 24/7? Kind of questions arise from your family and peer group. Even in a meeting, that glow on your face in the dim light. teehee.. peeping into the phone …

But sometimes texting a little is life saving and is saving time too. Imagine you ask someone some address on a call and instead of reaching Lavelle road you reach Avenue road. Poor accent!! Hearing aid and accent trainer required… Messaging is so damn useful in sending exact address, or pinning current location, unlike any typing mistakes.

You can never predict anyone by assuming him to be crude, impolite, uncivilized, an outlaw – banned from the mobile zone, having bad phone manners. “Why don’t you reply? Oh, you reply so late. Some conversations sink and labeled as “Not interested” members. Your only free time is while you are traveling or 45 minutes lunch break and you are so hungry, planning to grab your meals ASAP.

That is why I keep saying, I am not glued to my cell phone. I would appreciate, if you are reading this on your desktop instead of a phone. Are you still stuck to your phone?

Images: Various sources.

Copyright © 2013 · All Rights Reserved

Top 5 Reasons You Felt Why You Should Have Found Love

One subject you wished you should have learnt in college..

Love-0-logy

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Finding love is never attainable for people who always want to stay private. Mingling among new counterparts or same age troop, loitering around, speaking about falling share prices, democracy, flop movies, vote bank, cute hero, western outfits, rising heat, actually anything bullshit.
Is it greater than to stay alone or profit functional in chit chat casual affairs.??

But then we cant spend our whole life alone and for that we absolutely need a partner in crime to investigate other solid stories.  You never know when, where and whom you would knock down that “Special Someone” may be in a lift. 🙂

Top 5 reasons why you should have found someone.

1. Group Chats: When your peers are getting married and keep talking about how they met and proposed their love.  How they felt when they first met them, when their pockets pinched them, pouring expensive gifts and singing love songs, behind popping eyes, awake all night, writing love poems, phone calls coochicoos, texting 24/7 , blushing status messages, lovelorn talks, to know their where-a bouts. Ah! makes you wonder, someone should have done this to you. Then Why NOT ??

2. Valentines day: When your colleagues receive gifts on valentines day, the only day when lovers realize they should do something unique to impress their love..and show off their returns, run to their offices to deliver the gifts personally will have kept his/her friends green-eyed. Arrive graciously dressed in red like high voltage volcano, spreading thousand watts current to anyone passing nearby, would keep anyone watching and by then the thoughts would have erupted. If she/he can get someone, why not me LOL.

3. Bike ride: When you see couples on a bike, a beautiful girl, with her flying hair, hugs her man, and you want to go on a long drive or on a death ride. Escaping the signals, busy traffic… yes you want one too, a chauffeur. 

4. Picture poses: Visit all dream destinations and click pictures with your beloved in ugly poses with who the hell bothers attitude, yes you know camera was invented just to seize the sweet moments of just the two. Maggi time types photos really tempts you to steal the magic moments of your life, you know it must be so big time fun to cook two minute noodles and celebrate with just a plum cuppa cake with a candle over it at 3 AM in the morning. Sounds romantic isn’t it ?? Your ready with a guitar to strum any tune. Well.. sounds little bit lost. come back., stop dreaming.

5. Drop habits: When someone says that he/she has stopped doing something just for the sake of he/she does not like it, makes me scatterbrained. Its stupendous when someone really leaves behind their proclivity for their hankering. It would be a dauntless task to rethink on not doing something you would like it or other way round.

Love is a union of two hearts and this should not get priced by greenbacks or by analyzing. It would come your way when it has to… True love will find you. You will celebrate.
Cheers to all those who found their true love. MAGIC MAGIC.

Copyright © 2016 · All Rights Reserved

facebook KING

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You are here!! The amount I missed you… I read a status few days back, preferences and remarks heaped soon. “Your sweetheart?” He had posted it intentionally? Nah! Furtively perusing the remarks and quickly expressing ” chill folks, in no way like that, it’s simply my new iPhone”.

LOL… It was that a status? Sulking 🙂

Weird statuses

Holy crap, people and followers were puzzled, who was here and what was going on in his/her life.

Why do people post half information, sentences and phrases as status ? just because Facebook asks you “whats on your mind?? and nevertheless let others keep thinking the investigation theory.  Anyways little knowledge is dangerous.
I almost fainted reading, when someone wrote “tonight it’s a goodie goodie night!!” What does this mean?? Go and say it to your spouse and do not post it on a social site, anyhow people will read their naughty mind. And still followers make it a point to write “have fun”. How silly.

People are habituated posting funny, insane, sick, idiotic lines regardless of whosoever reads it, likes it and comments too. Sometimes even share it…CTRL C, CTRL V is still in demand.

I have read most of the sports news on my news feed – Guess who won the Wimbledon?

(1 -0, 2-5, 4-6) Nadal your the king this time, Federer better luck next time.

Oh no Federer 6-1, 6-2, 6-4.

Another wicket gone. If people with no television can cling on to this news feed. “Blocked”.

What a match, nail biting situation.

It’s not a match as Sachin is not playing.

I will stop watching cricket.

If people want to know the scores they will watch some sports channel or should they subscribe to your account.

Some more…

It’s raining. Yes if it’s raining people will know, what would someone expect to comment

ROFL

OK then get wet.

Why no umbrella??

I am wet too

Where is it raining?

So what should I do??

Write some nonsense and if you receive no likes, delete the status. That’s what few of them do. I can’t see it on my news feed too. Poor fellow must have realized that no one would probably like it.

Relationship status

Latest fad is changing the most precious relationship status of life and love on timeline.  Brag with some additional words to be included like confused, broken, two at a time apart from single, married, and complicated.

How do people change status within minutes? “So and so” went from being “single” to “in a relationship”. Few weeks later, “in a relationship” to “its complicated”, few days more, “single” again.  Fooling the world around with private and personal relations? Not noticing there are around 500 – 600 people or more than 1000 friends reading your love struck life. Laughing stock!! Its an open invitation for someone. Like if people will wait with roses outside singing love songs. Why ? You just got dumped.

“Relax it was a prank”. 60 comments, 142 likes. I am stumped, this is utter Bull shit. This is not a page to annoy others but to fool self image and get some public attention or sympathy.

Upload entire album of pictures

People vomit all the photos on internet. You are free to use all the server space, no one  bothers to edit or filter pictures without brains. Keep it censored when someone is sitting in a very odd position, someone’s face is awkward, wardrobe malfunction. Someone does not want to tell the world he / she drinks,  someone having 72 albums with 200 photos each, looks like he/she has reserved space to upload all scrap.

I know what you did last summer. Yes been to Honeymoon. Check out “Pics from Honeymoon”. God save me, this is ridiculous.

There goes a saying in Hindi “neki kar dariya me daal” today it states kuch bhi kar Facebook pe daal. “Do good and let it go”.  Now that it says “do anything, upload it on Facebook”.

Yes people fly abroad, definitely they want to share the world they flew in a plane , drove all the way, enjoyed first snow, met some actor, clicked pictures with ladies on the beach, sky dive, shots in skimpy clothes, madame Tussaud, roller coaster, Limousine, autumn, ice cream, bikini clad women, it’s OK.OK. Not OK. Spare me the horror selfie’s. Bored of people sharing selfie of every activity they do in daily life. (Eating.Drinking.Driving.Sleeping.Repeat)

Heights of Sharing

People have stopped being creative ?? They keep sharing pages,stupid pictures, morphed images, photo-shopped selfies, weird videos. Do people lack originality? Has he/she any time tweeted or written a quote of his own ??

His/her timeline is over populated with unwanted morphed photos which we do not even want to see. Anyways sharing was taught in school, but not to this level.

Be Online

Wonder how few people have high internet speed and time to be noticed “online” 24/7 and seen texting at 12 AM “Hi what are you doing? Are you kidding me, I was killing mosquitoes as they were playing soccer.” Mistakenly if you ping them, you don’t even get a reply?? HUH.

Facebook settings keep changing like a baby’s nappy pad every now and then. You receive random friend requests, messages, likes, and pokes from anybody… looks like I am going to go invisible forever, save me from unknown exceptions…. IGNORE could be the best suitable choice or BLOCK…

I wish if developers really come up with “who viewed your profile”, it will be incredible but true and adding more fun to it and there is no secret profile viewing or stalking and believe me you are saved. As whatever you post 500+ people will definitely read or like it.

Anyway, there are so many pros of it, I met so many old friends whom I had lost down the memory lane, now pictured us together.

Few chats, memories we will definitely cherish along the channel of life but mind it “Shit happens”.

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Copyright © 2016 · All Rights Reserved

 

Saga of travelling in a bus

– for the one less travelled (Rules to follow)

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It’s so gala to ride your bike whether rain or sunshine, horn on restricted places, peep in the mirror, take a left turn , go zigzag, switch lanes, take a U turn, if you find police waiting to chuck you, double seat mischief’s, park it easy, style your key in public and roam around.

Who knew I would miss all the boisterous events, when I would relocate to another city. Yes, I could have transported my bike here; still I needed to travel by bus and now sharing the twinge? No, the wicked fun of sitting in a bus. The agony of traveling in a bus, who has never ventured into a bus. NEVERRRRR!!

Rushing and pushing, I climbed in a local bus, I was heading to my aunts home. How less I knew about this new city, that I got down at the wrong point. Looking left, looking right, puzzled???? Wait!! Where am I? Damn!! 3 stops ahead of where I had to get down actually. I paid extra for reaching the wrong stop and boarded another to return. Unfortunately, I asked a wrong lady and she told me the wrong stop.

Rule no 1: Always keep a road map, as to where you want to reach. Because there are people who misguide and you may reach a place you have never been.

 I was waiting to meet a friend for long. She gave me her address and I got into a Volvo (Uncluttered AC bus which charges double the rate of NON AC bus.) But never mind, sitting inside makes you feel you are going into a posh expedition. I stood like a statue, unaware of getting victimized by attractive ladies, who wear face covering glares and carry bags from Louis Vuitton. This lady covered my bag by her dupatta(a scarf worn) and within seconds my wallet was stolen. I still dint realize I had lost it. The lady conductor pulled me to sit and cautioned the passengers “beware there are pick pockets.” She announced, thank god, better late than never.

When I sat down, I saw my purse was torn by a blade and my wallet missing. “What was in it “asked my friend? Cards, some important papers, license, and of course cash… “How much?” Rs. 700/-… “When you have a card why did you carry cash?” Arey, ab toh card bhi gaya na? “It’s OK, call up the bank customer care and block your card”.  Blessed, I had some 50 bucks in my pocket. At least, I could reach her place.

Rule no 2: Please take care of your belongings even you have it in your pocket, keep a track of it.

One evening, I pushed and dashed all women and got in. I was wondering lean lady like me could do it. Task accomplished, I got a vacant seat.  I sat as though I hurdled a 100mt dash and jumped off Mount Everest, swam across Thames. Not being so fortunate, some old lady came in and the other ladies in the bus patted my back and approached me to spare the seat for the poor lady. Not once, not twice, but so many times. Even I have to go a long way?

Rule no 3: Whether you are thin or fat, if you look young, you are sure to be asked to vacate for senior citizen. That’s not wrong, unless you occupy senior citizen’s seat. 🙂

Babies cry in the bus, the mixes of people’s body odor, the fragrances, and someone’s malodorous gases, please I can vacate it for anybody. When some lady is with a child, if she asks you to hold her child on your lap… No it’s better to give her the queens place.

 Rule no 4: It does not matter, how old the child is, but his/her mother will carry him/her just to grab a seat.

And if you have seen someone coming towards you, pretend to be unwell or put your head down. No one will disturb a sleeping person.

I was in a transport some time setting off to the local station and there was an old lady adjacent to me, attempting to converse with me in some south Indian dialect. I was attempting to overlook her. As the TC neared me, he requested that purchase the ticket. That old lady pointed towards me. She was pointing her finger to every other person in the bus for a ticket. Pardon me, I just got up and got away. Above all else, I would not take my granny in a transport.

Rule no 5: Please do not feel pity for few old people who point fingers at you to buy their ticket.

Funny people I came across lately, I was listening to Rihanna and was lost while heading towards office. Some guy threw a chit on me, when he got down. It read his phone number. Mind it; I should have given it in the nearest police station or passed it somewhere or advertised on paper stuck on trees.  There are people who sit staring at you or who just want to push you or try to touch you in some or the other way.

Rule no 6: Stay away from boarding a crowded bus. 

This happened as of late, when I was going back home, I didn’t get a seat and I stood all way and was looking outside. The conductor wanted to get friendly and know about my place, school, work place, and city. Does he need to upgrade his database or something? Ok!! Newcomer points of interest. I have even met individuals, who ask your telephone numbers, since they need to showcase about their firm. “Do you venture to every part of a similar course day by day? Goodness, I am a nutritionist, take my telephone number. I lead coordinated workshops each Sunday. ” Call me 🙂

Rule no 7: Do not provide any of your information to anybody or by-heart a wrong number.

For a fare of Rs.24, I paid Rs.100 and was waiting for the conductor to return Rs.76. I signaled him twice to pay me the change in a packed bus. He delayed to pay until my last stop.  Guess, he wanted to put that in his pocket. When I got down from the bus he returned Rs. 75.  Anyways, he did not have one rupee coin. With a sigh!! Wondering, if I was the lady Gajani, would not he earn that extra buck?

 Rule no 8: Always carry change. Never know.

Who spat on you?

My day would have almost been ruined while passing by a bus, when a sot would have spit on me. I luckily missed his shot (pichkkari) else would have ran home? Nah, would have bashed him and created a scene.  My colleagues have reported many a times that they got slugged by some maroon paan. It’s lucky if a bird drops poppies on your head than get painted in red. Yak, how disgusting.

Rule no 9: Avoid passing by a bus, especially near bus stands. Even if you do, please look up.

Language problem, big problem. I can understand Kannada, but the conductors have always spoken to me in Hindi. No matter what happens, they speak few common words NO (gotilla, illa illa.) Don’t know what I look like; when I speak back in Kannada they are amazed (Kannadavra).

 Rule no 10: Please learn some few words of the desired language to avoid quarrels with them.

It’s been long time now, I am staying in this city and decidedly there is an urgent requirement to buy a bike.  I would love to escape the trouble of waiting at the shelter-less bus stops, board a wrong bus, get down at a wrong place, forget the change, spoil my clothes, accidentally fall, get stepped by pointed heels, inhale mixed odors, fight for a ladies seat,  get robbed and finally run behind the bus like the scene from Jab we met.. Rukooooo

illustration-depicting-a-woman-tourist-with-a-suitcase-running-after-the-bus.1500.1568

Bus ab bus.. I don’t want to be the damsel in distress any more. Time for a pleasure ride….

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